17. Even my cleaner commands a higher salary than you

Ok, so you might have read Nickel & Dimed, and yes, you could try and point out that there was some existential problem with not doing your own vacuuming, where you weren't engaging properly with your true self, or some such daftness. But seriously, even with the Sisyphean task of shoving all the detritus from one end of my house to the other, could you really imagine me being happy?
And besides, I get paid a lot of money to sit around being pedantic, not to wear myself out scrubbing and polishing things. More to the point, it's probably my moral duty to employ somebody else to do menial tasks, in order that trickledown economics can function correctly. Cheers, Mr Reagan, for that excuse.
So I subcontract my cleaning to others. Many of you may do this, and think "he's not better than me! I too have underlings to remove dust from beneath my comfortable yet reasonably priced Habitat sofa". And this is true, possession of the services of a cleaner in and of itself is not a reason for my superiority. What is is the quality of my cleaner. My cleaner is degree educated from one of the top three universities in the country (possibly top two, depending on the relative performance in the league tables each year), has a highly important job in a large investment bank, and owns two incredibly fat cats. And yet despite all this, my cleaner is to be found in my house on specified days of the month, carefully dusting the incredibly large painting of my face and then polishing the surfaces of the kitchen to a mirror-like shine. Thus you may look upon my works and quail at my clear superiority.