8. I can read much faster than you

For example:

Lord of the Rings: 8 hours. Not wishing to belabour the point, but that's shorter than it would take you to watch Peter's Jackson's adaptation. Which would also be a waste of time, mind you, as his previous work is clearly superior.

And it's not just dry reworkings of middle England that my voracious brain can gobble up. With things to do and copious distractions, I can still read at least a book a day. That is, until supplies run out; but that makes me pretty special compared to the rest of you, who are all having to ration the time you spend reading books, rather than ration the number of books you read in a specific time.

There is one disadvantage I must admit to - I suffer badly on long journeys. Very badly. Whilst some people can gainfully employ themselves with reading the Sun between stations on a train, to have enough reading matter to stave off boredom I'd need to cart an encylcopedia or two around. As it is, before we've pulled out of Paddington I've read most things twice. And let's not even start on FHM...