14. I possess a painting somebody has made of my visage

Now, it must be said that this is not an unalloyed delight. Having a 4 by 3 foot painting of yourself is not dissimilar to the position Bluebeard must have found himself in; having a lumber room jammed full of dead wives is hardly conducive to maintaining a happy relationship with the next spouse to peer in and see what might befall her. Thusly, if I ever were to entice a beautiful woman back to my house again, I'd have to tell her that she could look anywhere in the house, except behind the curtain on the wall above the sofa (which is where the painting is hung. Of course, as all fairy tales go, she'd be bound to take a peek, and, disgusted by the apparent boundless pride that I held in my appearance, run from the house never to be seen again.
But let's unpick that slightly. Firstly, I'm sufficiently good looking to warrant reproduction. How many of the rest of you would even dare to have a picture of yourself made?
Secondly, I'm confident that my charms would be enough to overcome the disgust the painting might engender in my female companion
Thirdly, once I've posted a picture of the painting up here, it will be clear that my ironic disregard for myself is so strong that I am happy to display the picture without thought of shame or worry.
So that's three reasons for the price of one - or should that be four, if you include my generosity?