2. I've got three A-levels
This should sort the wheat from the chaff pretty quickly.
A-levels are the gold standard of the English secondary school system. By implication, since the English secondary school system is superior to all other pedagogical schemes for the under-18s, I possess three things which mark me out as superior to anyone who doesn't have at least three of them.
Got an international baccalaureat? Piffle.
Score highly on your SAT? Wait and I might make an impressed face, about the same time as Percy the Pig does an Immelman turn over my house.
25 m swimming badge? Arts and Crafts from Boy Scouts? High School Diploma? Nothing, nada, zero to the nth degree. Against the might of my three A-levels, your qualifications are meaningless. If you mention them, it's not just showing that I'm better than you because I've got A-levels. It shows that you're inferior, because you thought your pointless bit of paper could somehow match up.
And just to drive the point home completely, let's think about what grades I received for these A-levels. A. A. A. If the vagaries of the English secondary school system confuse you at all, let me make it abundantly clear. An A grade for an A-level is the best. There is nothing better. If you got a B grade, that was not as good as me. My grades are superior to yours.
posted by Mr Cushtie @ 1:18 PM
5 Comments:
I have four a-levels and two as-levels. Does that make me more better than you?
Unfortunately not, for a number of reasons.
One of these reasons is yet to be revealed. Among those that I can mention now:
1. Quantity, not quality. Were these A-levels and AS-levels at A grade, or lower? Your lack of correct capitalisation suggests that either they weren't, or they were lacking in some essential components.
2. There are 100 reasons why I'm better. Just because this one hasn't covered you off, don't get complacent - there are at least 98 other reasons to follow. Indeed, if as well as being anonymous you're also female, then reason 1 should suffice.
Ok I hate to admit it. Your right. You are already cleverer than me and you got me by the 2nd reason. Damn. Do you know the best way of suicide by any chance?
What about 3 A grade A-levels and a shed load of letters after my name? Oh, and Dr in front?
No dice, I'm afraid. You might want to pay more attention to the rubric. You have 3 A-levels at grade A, and so do I. Therefore Reason 2 does not demonstrate that I'm superior to you.
But you're operating from a position of ignorance. If, for example, it later turns out that I've also got a doctorate, and more letters after my name than you, then it'll be clear that I am better than you. Perhaps if you weren't so scared and having to hide behind your anonymity, you'd come out and say what particular letters they were. After all, for all I and the rest of the internet know, your full appelation is Dr Harry Lime T.W.A.T. and that wouldn't be superior to very much indeed, would it?
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